/describe $parm2 notices that $parm1 is idling.. | /describe $parm2 decides to get rid of $parm1 | /describe $parm2 picks up $parm1 and throws him out of $parm2 | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 gags $parm1 and stuffs him in a Cow suit, then tosses him into a corral with a horny bull. <<Mmmmmoooooo!>> | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 intercepte la balle, drible et shoot! | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 kicks $parm1 in the chest...**Kaiaaaaa!!!! | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 smashes $parm1 's head with a baseball bat *BOK* !! | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 pulls down the switch to the electric chair | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 dons his priestly garb. | /describe $parm2 dispatches $parm1 's soul on its way to the pearly gates. | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 grabs $parm1 by the hair and jams him face first into the toilet... | /describe $parm2 does the royal flush. | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 throws $parm1 carelessly to the floor. | /describe $parm2 does the moonwalk up and down $parm1 's ass. | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 pulls out his portable chalkboard. | /describe $parm2 shows $parm1 the function of relativity for chaos mathematics. | /describe $parm2 watches as $parm1 's brain shorts out with a puff of putrid smoke! | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/msg $parm2 * $+ $parm1 $+ * - what is your real name? | /msg $parm2 * $+ $parm1 $+ * - what is your quest? | /msg $parm2 - * $+ $parm1 $+ * what's the average air speed of a coconut laden swallow? | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 waves his hands and turns into Michael Jordan for a instant. | /msg $parm2 * $+ $parm2 $+ * give me those Nike's! | /describe $parm2 leaves a court shoe print across $parm1 's face. | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 casts Otto's Irresistible Dance on $parm1 . | /describe $parm2 then casts Tasha's Uncontrollable Hideous Laughter on $parm1 | /describe $parm2 watches as $parm1 laughs and dances off the channel. | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 grabs $parm1 's tongue and pulls it wayyyyy out. | /describe $parm2 takes out a locking ring and loops it through $parm1 's tongue. | /describe $parm2 then fastens the ring to a Lotus Esprit and drives off. | /kick $parm2 $parm1 Wrooooommm..
/describe $parm2 becomes bored with $parm1 and cranks out some tunes on his Spanish Guitar! | /describe $parm2 takes a dancing flower and shoves it up $parm1 's ass! | /describe $parm2 watches as $parm1 goes through several interesting convulsions. | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 looks to his left...then to his right. | /describe $parm2 takes out a little black bag and points it at $parm1 | /describe $parm2 watches as $parm1 is attacked by a mob of pirhana clams!!! | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 decides to use calculus on $parm1 | /describe $parm2 takes the second derivative of $parm1 | /describe $parm2 is astonished... he has just disproved $parm1 's existence!!! | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 dumps a can of gasoline on $parm1 | /describe $parm2 lights a match and tosses it. | /describe $parm2 laughs as $parm1 turns squirms and smokes to a blackened crisp. | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 opens a cannister of liquid nitrogen. | /describe $parm2 dumps it all over $parm1 | /describe $parm2 laughs as $parm2 become stiff, then shatters into thousands of gleaming shards. | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 pulls out a bottle of hydrochloric acid. | /describe $parm2 splashes it in $parm1 's face. | /describe $parm2 watches $parm1 as skin runs in rivulets from bone until only a putrid puddle remains. | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 prays to the Gods of IRC for assistance. | /describe $parm2 watches for a sign... | /describe $parm2 laughs as $parm1 is seared by lightning and torn asunder. | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 prays silently to the Gods of IRC for assistance. | /describe $parm2 watches the skies for a sign... | /describe $parm2 laughs as the ground beneath $parm1 shakes and splits open engulfing $parm1 | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 calls upon the Daemon Primarch Mortarion to answer his summons. | /msg $parm2 now * S+ $parm1 $+ * feel the wrath of the Prince of Plagues. | /describe $parm2 watches as $parm1 dissolves into a mass of blisters and bleeding scars. | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 grabs $parm1 by the neck and props $parm1 's mouth open. | /describe $parm2 stuffs large quantities of frozen ice cream bars down $parm1 's throat. | /describe $parm2 sets $parm1 off to the side to admire his new full size PEZ distributor... | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 grabs $parm1 by the neck and hooks $parm1 's upper jaw over his thumb. | /describe $parm2 takes careful aim while stretching $parm1 waaay out... | /describe $parm2 releases $parm1 ... *twang* | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 grabs $parm1 by the right nostril and pulls it waaay out... | /describe $parm2 looks around for a suitable implement | /describe $parm2 notices just the right device for the job... | /describe $parm2 grabs a running chainsaw and stuffs it up $parm1 's right nostril... | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 becomes a magical conduit between the Prime and Negative Material Planes... | /describe $parm2 then touches $parm1, draining $parm1 's life essence away... | /msg $parm2 What life? He's on irc all the damn time! | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 pulls a small, deadly vial from his pocket. | /describe $parm2 breaks the vial over $parm1 's head... | /describe $parm2 laughs as $parm1 suddenly turns into MiSTiK! | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 pulls out a sharp battle axe and slices off $parm1 's head.. | /describe $parm2 watches the head roll to the floor, covering $parm1 with blood.. | /describe $parm2 slings the axe over his shoulder and laughs with murderous glee! | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 *accidentally* bumps into $parm1 on the observation deck at the Empire State Building.... | /describe $parm2 laughs as he watches $parm1 go for the plunge.... | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 searches for a small explosive... | /describe $parm2 finds a half stick of dynamite... | /describe $parm2 blows $parm1 's ass out of the known world... | /describe $parm2 wishes $parm1 pleasant dreams and a happy tomorrow... | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 puts $parm1 into an electric chair and throws the switch..... | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 tosses $parm1 into a microwave oven and sets the dial on 'HIGH'.... | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 picks up a cordless-drill with a paint-stripper... | /describe $parm2 decides that $parm1 could REALLY use an enema... | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 ties a rope around the neck of $parm1 and places him over the trap-door... | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 *** LAMER PROTECTION ENGAGED *** | /describe $parm2 Weeeeeeep! Weeeeeeep! Weeeeeeeeep! | /describe $parm2 Lamer spotted!! Lowering targets on the lamer! | /MSG $parm1 Tag, you're it!!! | /describe $parm2 announces Lamer has been Tagged and Bagged! | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 loads a laser guided AARM-32b smartbomb into his F-16 Strike Eagle. | /describe $parm2 watches as the sights level on $parm1 | /msg $parm2 look out below! | /describe $parm2 watches as the bomb hits $parm1 and pounds him 20ft into the ground. | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 pulls the scalp off of $parm1 | /describe $parm2 eats the scalp | /msg $parm2 Mmmmm! finger lickin' good!! | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 approaches $parm1 's swaying body. | /describe $parm2 takes hold of $parm1 's neck and removes his head and spine from his body. | /msg $parm2 Rrrrrriiiiiiipppp!!! | /describe $parm2 turns $parm1 's head to show $parm1 the lifeless body | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 looks into $parm1 's eyes. | /describe $parm2 approaches $parm1 with lightning speed. | /describe $parm2 pauses to look one last time at $parm1 's panic stricken face. | /msg $parm2 THOCK!!! | /describe $parm2 punches $parm1 's head from $parm1 's neck with inhuman strength. | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 puts on his black hood. | /describe $parm2 escorts $parm1 to the guillotine. | /msg $parm2 Any final requests before the blade drops? | /msg $parm2 No? Good! | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 spits out a wad of chewing tobacco | /msg $parm2 *pbpbth* | /msg $parm2 Listen $parm1 we don't like yer kind around here... | /msg $parm2 so git on out er we'll throw yuh out! | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 decides to get REALLY liquored up! | /describe $parm2 grabs a shotgun and takes pot shots at passing clouds. | /describe $parm2 is waaayyyy too drunk though, and starts taking out other objects in his vicinity. Namely, $parm1 | /kick $parm2 $parm1 Blam! Blam! Blam! Whoops! Oh well...Blam!
/describe $parm2 grabs $parm1 by his little dick. | /describe $parm2 pulls hard and swings $parm1 around the channel. | /describe $parm2 swings faster until $parm1 's dick snaps off. | /describe $parm2 watches as $parm1 flies off the channel. | /kick $parm2 $parm1 Forgot your mushroom cap!
/describe $parm2 and $parm1 are waiting at the bus stop. | /describe $parm2 watches as the bus approaches... | /describe $parm2 nudges $parm1 out into traffic before the bus can stop. | /kick $parm2 $parm1 You gonna eat this lunch?
/describe $parm2 decides to build a fire. | /describe $parm2 takes the first dead wood he sees and throws $parm1 in the pit. | /describe $parm2 covers $parm1 with gasoline and strikes a match. | /describe $parm2 doesn't seem to hear $parm1 squealing like a pig for mercy as he drops the match. | /kick $parm2 $parm1 Poof! Hmm... Charbroil! My favorite!
/describe $parm2 looks bored. | /describe $parm2 decides to interest himself by mangling $parm1 | /describe $parm2 shoves his fist into $parm1 's chest and pulls out a handful of capillaries. | /describe $parm2 begins knitting a sweater. | /kick $parm2 $parm1 Knit One, Pearl Two....
/describe $parm2 suggests that $parm1 do his Kurt Cobain impression. | /describe $parm2 watches as $parm1 props a shotgun to his mouth and blows his brains out. | /describe $parm2 waits for three days before an electrician finds $parm1 and throws him out. | /kick $parm2 $parm1 That's not teen spirit you smell.....
/describe $parm2 wonders how well $parm1 would work as a conductor. | /describe $parm2 ties $parm1 to the base of a lightning rod. | /describe $parm2 is pleased as a storm starts brewing and lightning strikes the rod. | /describe $parm2 takes notes as $parm1 's nervous system becomes a superconductor. | /kick $parm2 $parm1 For the good of science, you know?
/describe $parm2 wonders where $parm1 really came from. | /describe $parm2 does a smathering of research, only to discover that the best part of $parm1 ran down some whore's leg. | /kick $parm2 $parm1 We can always try again later, honey.
/describe $parm2 thinks $parm1 whines too much. | /describe $parm2 thinks $parm1 does more whining than Ernest & Julio Gallo. | /describe $parm2 suggests $parm1 go visit California to be with the other cheap whines. | /kick $parm2 $parm1 I hate whine...
/describe $parm2 smells something terrible. | /describe $parm2 figures out that it's $parm1 who smells like a dead elephant on a hot summer's day. | /describe $parm2 decides to send $parm1 to the cleaners. | /kick $parm2 $parm1 Put it on my tab!
/describe $parm2 watches too much Mr. Wizard. | /describe $parm2 decides to try an experiment! | /msg $parm2 Now $parm1 you hold this putty, while I hook up these wires.... | /describe $parm2 feigns shock as $parm1 's ass is blown into next week. | /kick $parm2 $parm1 For my next experiment....
/describe $parm2 has always been fascinated by Don Herbert. | /describe $parm2 wants to try an experiment with $parm1 | /describe $parm2 wants to monitor the brain levels of a moron. | /describe $parm2 frowns at the results. | /kick $parm2 $parm1 What was I thinking ... you need a brain first..
/describe $parm2 tries to find where $parm1 begins and where $parm1 ends. | /describe $parm2 notices the circle that $parm1 's body makes from neck, to ass, to neck again. | /describe $parm2 has never seen a life-form this low on the food chain. | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 looks over and sees $parm1 desperately trying to bend far enough to suck himself off. | /describe $parm2 wonders why no one else has kicked him for such pathetic behavior. | /describe $parm2 notices that no one else is paying attention to him. | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 kicks $parm1 through a time warp.... | /msg $parm2 $parm1 lands at the Jim Jones incident.... | /msg $parm2 Jim Jones says "Hey $parm1 ! How about some PurpleSaurus Rex Kool Aid?" | /msg $parm2 $parm1 chugs a pitcher and says "damn, why is this stuff so good?" | /msg $parm2 Jim Jones says, "Well $parm1 , it's either the nutrasweet or the cynanide!" | /kick $parm2 $parm1
/describe $parm2 jumps through a time warp that has somehow manifested in his garage... | /describe $parm2 notices a bird fly by... | /describe $parm2 steps on a worm that the bird _should_ have gotten... | /msg $parm2 The bird sees an old man sitting on a rock next to the tree where his nest is. | /msg $parm2 The bird pecks the old man to death. | /msg $parm2 It just turns out that the old man is one of $parm1 's ancestors... | /msg $parm2 Upon this paradox of the space/time continium, $parm1 pops out of existence... | /kick $parm2 $parm1
